Many people have opinions and preconceived ideas about the strong-willed children, here are three of the most common ones:
They are badly behaved
The strong-willed children usually behave well at school, in kindergarten, at their friends’, or at their grandparents. They follow the rules, have friends, and are good at making up and getting things started. They have been raised well at home and they are smart children; they know how to behave when they are out.
But they react to noise, unfair situations and environments where they feel unsafe. When the children react, it is not because they are badly behaved, it is because the environment is not good for them and they will react to that.
And, do not forget: everything your child can do out in the world, he/she has learned in your home.
They are always testing boundaries
The strong-willed children know what is important to them. They know what they need and they will go far to get it. They fight for that they believe is right and important; the surroundings can experience this as the children testing boundaries. But they are not, they are not trying to push the limits, manipulate, or test your patience; they are simply fighting with everything they have for what they believe is important.
There must be problems at home since they react so strongly there
The strong-willed children react strongly where they feel safe. For most children, that place is their home, with their mom and dad. The parents are the child’s safety net. Home is where the child feels safe and can “unload”; the strong-willed children put up with a lot of things throughout the day. They do this when they are away from their parents, and then when they come home, or even just see their parents picking them up from school, they react.
The children can change from being mild and sweet to angry and aggressive in the blink of an eye. This is not because you as a parent are out of control, on the contrary, it is because your child feels safe and comfortable with you. With you, your child sees and opportunity to let go and relax, and unload the challenging experiences of the day.